A few things floating around in my mental space lately: books and babies.
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| Ridge Line over Cedar City, UT. |
So I'm reading (or re-reading) them now. I came across an article a couple weeks ago that listed 10 books every high schooler should read: Frankenstein, The Scarlett Letter, The Great Gatsby, Pride & Prejudice, Siddhartha, Lord of the Flies, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, To Kill a Mockingbird, & The Fountainhead. (This is obviously not a conclusive list, so if you have suggestions, I'm happy to hear them.)
I finished Lord of the Flies last week. I picked that one up just to see if my niece was right about The Hunger Games. Honestly, I don't know. I guess it depends on the child, but 13 still seems awfully young for that series. Anyway, I remember not really liking Lord of the Flies and not for the obvious reasons (boys killing boys), but mostly because the idea of a bunch of boys being stranded on an island was not at all appealing to me. It seemed like a boy's book and the deeper themes totally went over my head. I have to say that this time around, having 15 additional years under my belt and a 6 year old son to boot, it was a completely different story. Reading it through the filter of a mother's heart made it so horrifying. And beyond the killings, it was the "littleuns'" that broke my heart. Those poor little boys. Poor Simon, poor Piggy, poor Ralph. It has definitely left an impression this time.
I'm currently working on The Scarlett Letter. I'm really enjoying the introduction, "The Custom House". I like Nathaniel Hawthorne's style and his imagery. I've even kept a pen in hand as I read to mark favorite passages. (I also have my iPod with dictionary app open to look up the words I'm not clear on.) I'm excited to get into the main story.
And that's that.
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| Sunset over Cedar City through the tall grasses. |
It seems like everywhere I look there are newborns or women with pregnant bellies. Aye me. We've been trying for 2 years now and it's getting frustrating. Don't feel too bad for me yet, because truth be told, even though I thought I was ready and even though I really wanted to have most of my birthing of children done before I hit 30, I was in no way ready for another child. No way, no how. If I had to deal with a newborn (which is mostly my least favorite stage except for the cuddling and the sleeping and the general sweetness of newborns) during the past year or so, then I would have had a break down. I am not kidding when I say that. The neediness of the two children I already have combined with the intensely constant needs of a newborn complicated by sleep deprivation would have been my undoing. I'm quite certain about that.
But now... now I pine. I perish for want of a sweet little being. The wanting has come on me slowly. When we decided we wanted to try for another one, for me it was because we had a schedule to keep. That sounds awful, but thats sometimes how I operate. I wanted a baby, but that want wasn't with my entire being. Slowly, it has become so and now the waiting has become frustrating, especially since the first two came so easily.
So we wait and have faith and practice patience.
8 comments:
You went back to Cedar City, huh? The sunset pictures are beautiful. Once I finally finish going through my Myrtle Beach pictures I will get some sunrise ones up for you.
As far as your comment: newborn (which is mostly my least favorite stage except for the cuddling and the sleeping and the general sweetness of newborns), um...I thought I was the only one. I don't like the newborn stage at all. I am totally for Shannon right now at 15 months, walking, kinda talking, communicating, and basically fully developed into her personality. So thank you for saying it so I don't feel like such a retarded woman or mother for not loving the newborn stage.
And hang in there...Tyler took 9 months and Shannon took 10. HF knows what's best (sure you've heard that one a zillion times) and at least you have two beautiful children already. :)
Candis, I promise you are not the only one who feels that way!! That newborn stage is rough! And I agree, they get pretty great around 15 months.
And yes, we went to the Shakespeare Festival for my 30th. It was a lot of fun to go back and show my husband where I spent some time. I really like Cedar City, not as a place to permanently live, but at some point we want to have a cabin up Cedar Canyon.
RE: babies: I am intimately familiar with that desperate want to have a child and it not coming to fruition- our baby was stalled for other reasons, but the want is the same. It seems like when the wanting is the most intense, EVERYONE is pregnant or has a new baby, doesn't it? Hang in there, if another child is in the cards he or she will come to you one way or another.
Re: books: I've read some of the "required reading" books I missed, too, and I have to say, I've really hated some of them. (I will never understand why the Bronte sisters are so widely and well regarded.) I'm really surprised that The Fountainhead is on that list- I've heard it's a tough read. A few books I can remember not reading in high school (though I was supposed to) that aren't on your list are A Passage to India, The Canterbury Tales and Wuthering Heights (But please don't actually read that one if you haven't yet. It's worse than Jane Eyre. Depressing mopey women. I would like to see what the sisters Bronte could have done with the benefit of Prozac.). I think I'll add a couple from your list to mine, too.
Oh, P.S. Did you hear that Huck Finn was recently changed by the publisher, swapping the n word in favor of slave? I can't believe they actually went in an changed Mark Twain to pretty up history a bit.
Ha ha! I actually love "Jane Eyre"! I tried reading "Wuthering Heights as a teen and couldn't stomach it. But I am somewhat mopey in nature, so I guess to each their own. :)
And I had heard that they were going to change that about Huck Finn but thought it was still up for debate... I actually read an article about in (believe it or not) the Costco magazine. They had arguments for both (those for it said that Mark Twain would never have used that word if he was alive and writing today and would have probably said slave instead, against it said that it was part of history and the time period he lived in so changing it would be wrong). I, personally, don't think they should have.
The only book I read from that list was Siddhartha and I hated every minute of it. I am pretty sure it ruined me for the rest of the english reading list. I just could not read any more boring stuff for HOURS.
Babies, cue crying. I am right there with ya, but my block has been a husband who does not want another. No way, no how. And it is more than just that another baby was in my plans, for say July. Nope that didn't happen. It is that I NEED it. My heart hurts because the possibility is so close and yet unattainable. I try to be busy with my 2 beautiful and energetic children. But when it is quiet and, say I am trying to sleep, I can't help but think of it. And sometimes I don't sleep.
I have a lot of friends who love Jane Eyre, and I just don't get it. All I got from that book is how depressing and gray and awful everything was. It's been ten years, though, so maybe I should give it another shot. (I probably won't, though.)
I read this great column yesterday, in fact, about the change in Huck Finn, and the writer argued that the problem is that we can't go back and whitewash history, or else we won't learn the lessons from it. Her argument was really convincing, though I was in the "don't change it" camp anyway.
I've read Scarlett Letter multiple times for various classes...bleh! Can't stand it! I did really enjoy Frankenstein - read that one next.
I can't comment on wanting babies as a married woman but man, I do feel it sometimes as a singleton. Talk about frustrating!
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