Understanding

I had a fabulous reunion with some of my CBT girls just after New Years, and I have a post for that with photos. Although if you're on Facebook, the photos are already on there. Anyway, I was looking for old dance stuff in storage and long story short got out all my old journals. In one of them was tucked an email that was sent to me by my dear friend, Candis. The date on it is Tuesday, December 17, 2002. So, seven years ago. (Let me just take a minute to process that. Seven years. Whoa.) She had sent me a link to this site that told you what your name really means. Here's what mine means according to the site:

"Your first name of Annie has given you a rather quiet, reserved, serious, studious nature. You have sensitivity and appreciation for the finer and deeper things of life, the beauties of nature, music, art, and literature. The people who mean the most to you are those who can offer you intellectual companionship. It is only when you are among those who understand your deeper nature that you can really be yourself. The experience of having your remarks taken lightly or belittled, particularly during the early years of your life, has caused you to keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself. You do not express yourself spontaneously when conversing with others; hence other people may often regard you as being aloof, and even unfriendly. Your difficulty in putting your deeper thoughts and feelings into words can lead to problems in more intimate associations. This name has caused you to live much within yourself. You are rather easily hurt or offended. At such times you can withdraw into a mood, and may not even speak to others. Aside from these points, this name contains many fine qualities. You are a thoughtful, analytical person, and you now your own mind, even though you may not speak it. You are very conscientious and competent in all that you do. You take seriously any responsibilities that you have--in the home, in the community, or at the job. Worry and mental depression could be problems in your life. Physically, any weaknesses in your health would center in the heart, lungs or bronchial organs."

I kept it because it was true and that amazed me. And it still is, for the most part. I'm not quite as easily offended and hurt as I used to be, but I still can be. My head is on a little straighter these days. I wouldn't quite call myself thoughtful, conscientious or competent. I feel those are some of my weaknesses. I mean, I've been visiting teaching only twice in the year I've been in my ward and didn't realize that my next-door neighbor, one of my teachees, was pregnant until she started carrying around a baby carrier just before Christmas. Besides those, the rest of it is frighteningly accurate. Especially the part about having my "remarks taken lightly or belittled, particularly during the early years".

I posted this in hopes to be understood. That's one of the points of these blog thingies, isn't it? To have people understand you?