Tease

I've had the same winter coat since high school, friends.  HIGH SCHOOL.  It was more than 10 years ago that I walked through those halls.  It's a black pea coat and it was bought as a Christmas present back when the pea coat came back into style.  It's worn and sorry looking.  Buttons have fallen off and been reattached.  The lining in one of the pockets is ripped.  I once thought I lost my keys and searched frantically for them, only to realize that they had fallen through the lining and were hiding in the void that was formed by the outer and inner layers of the coat.  It's old.  Very, very old.

So, I want a new one.  I deserve a new one!  But I'm poor and I can't stand to spend more than $50 if I can help it.  I started searching online a couple weeks ago and found this one on Overstock:

I coveted the purple one instantly.  That collar!  Those buttons!  The belt!  It was going to be mine, and at $27.99 it was well within my allotted budget.  When I went to select a size, all that was left was the Orange or black in Large and XLarge.  I wept.  Bitterly.  Had there been black in my size, I might have been consoled, but alas.    I moved on.

Or, at least, I tried to.  That coat, it teased me.  It taunted me.  As I searched about the web for a worthy substitute, invariably, if there was an Overstock ad, that coat was what it was selling.  I'm not kidding when I say it happened it at least 4 times!  It was like it was saying, "I know I'm gorgeous, but you can't have me!  Na na na na na!  Plbbbbt!"  Jerk coat.

It's getting colder and colder, and I still have not found a suitable replacement.  Help!