Late night blogging. Isn't it fun?

Well, it's a 11:00 pm.  The witching hour.  The "will I fall asleep?" or "am I awake?" moment of truth.  Drumroll, please....

I am awake.  Tired, but awake.  Sick, but awake.

I blame my IKEA pillow, which was glorious for about 6 months or so (I'm just guessing about that, I really can't remember how long it's been since it came into my life), but now the down is not so downy and doesn't support my head like it has in days gone by.  Plus, I can't breathe out of my nose unless I find the exact right position which usually requires me to sleep on my back and I am not a back sleeper.

So, here were are.  Lucky you.

I've been thinking a lot about my last post and all of your comments (those posted here and via the email).  I want to sit here and tell you all to forget what I said, that I may have a bit of the dramatic in me and dismiss it as that.  My instinct is to lessen and minimize and brush it off, to run as fast as my crippled feet can carry me back behind the happy face.  When you ask me how things are I just want to say "Fine!  Things are good!" like I always do and let you believe it.

Honestly friends, things are more than fine, they really are very good.  I have so much in my life that I have yet to figure out how to appreciate fully, but I know that I am blessed.  I know that almost 7 years ago, when my husband showed up, I became a different person.  He changed me and started this slow going personal revolution of mine.  There is a New Me, but she is young and inexperienced and not quite strong enough yet to give Old Me the boot.

And Old Me, the Me that had been around for 23 years before New Me showed up, she's not letting go without a fight.  She's angry and hurt and feels like New Me ought to go back to where she came from.  She's proud and stubborn and doesn't want to give one teeny tiny inch to New Me.

I'm determined to let New Me win, though.  Thank you for your support.  Thanks for still reading.

Peace.