Don't let his cheeky smile and thumbs up fool you, this kid can be anything but easy going. This is a boy who likes to take his time with e v e r y t h i n g. Lunch time can take an hour. He is frequently sent home with unfinished projects from preschool and primary because he wasn't able to finish in the allotted time. He has, on occasion, left the house still dressed in his PJs because he wasn't able to manage getting his clothes on in 30 minutes. He's stubborn and determined to get his way. Too bad for him, so am I. Especially when it comes to using the facilities.
A typical trip to the bathroom begins with a mad dash because he can no longer keep one centimeter of his body still because he has held it in for an hour and 45 minutes already. And this in spite of his father or myself telling him to stop squirming and just go to the bathroom already! He replies that he doesn't have to go. So eventually the mad dash happens. The actual act lasts maybe 30 seconds and the ensuing 20 minutes to HALF AN HOUR is consumed by him taking his sweet time getting his clothes back on and getting his hands washed. He says "I can't!" "I'm afraid!" "I am!" "WAAH!" By they time he's finally out of the bathroom three days later I am completely spent!
We've tried sticker charts and potty treats and ignoring the situation but nothing works! He responds to nothing. Now, I know what you're saying, "He's only 4! You're not going to have to help him forever!" Oh, but there you are wrong. He is nearing 4 and a half. In less than 9 months he'll be going to Kindergarten. He is old enough to go to the bathroom and wash his hands in a reasonable amount of time! We're talking about life skills here! And I'm not entirely convinced that he WON'T want me to wash his hands for him or put his clothes back on him when he's 14. He's THAT stubborn.
So, as you can see, I have a bad attitude about my kids using the bathroom. I don't know if I have the strength to battle another one.
I've been attempting to potty train Emily for the past two weeks. Right after we first started, she starting having issues with her pooping, so we put it on pause until things cleared up. Now things seem to be on the up and up, so we're at it again, but every time she pees in her pants and then tells me that she needs to go potty I can't help but wish we were still committed to the diapers. How much easier life is! True, diapers cost a small fortune, and there's nothing like cleaning off the poopy bum of a squirmy 2 year old, but at least she's not peeing on the furniture and I'm not confined to the house with two restless children doing load after load after load of laundry while she tries to get it right.
And I'm not looking forward to the fight that is already beginning with washing hands and not emptying a full roll of toilet paper.
I like diapers. I like 'em. And I don't care who knows it.
9 comments:
I would try to think of some positive peppy advice but I get the feeling you just wanted to complain for a minute so I won't waste my energy telling you something you already know and don;t really need to hear again.
The other day my boy who's been potty trained for five months now, sat on the potty, peed over the front end of it, climbed off, pooped on the floor, then climbed back on.
The floor pooping was thanks to a stomach bug which makes it much more understandable but still it's kind of amazing that he was able to do both on the floor when he had been safely on the toilet before it all began.
I feel your pain on the "everything takes forever" front. Julianne is the same way. She will go in the bathroom to poop and spend 20 or 30 minutes in there, mostly just sitting there singing. We'll ask if she's done and she'll yell, "NO!" Meals are ENDLESS. We used to sit and wait with her, but now we've decided that if she can't finish in a reasonable amount of time she will sit alone. I think she does it for the undivided attention of us sitting there saying "C'mon, Chunk. Eat your dinner." followed by her telling us 8 million stories whilst NOT eating. So we're cutting her off. Getting dressed? She'll reluctantly remove the pajamas, followed by a good hour of running around in her panties, then she will slowly (as in, over the next couple of hours) assemble an outfit, which will promptly be removed to dress up as Fancy Nancy or Cinderella or Superman. And then, when we actually have to go somewhere, we're back to her in her panties, me saying, "Jules, clothes on! NOW!"
Oy vey, do I feel your pain on that. And I just don't have the energy or will to fight her on it right now. It's why we never get anywhere before 2 p.m. I used to be so good about making sure we were up and out the door by 9 or 10, but these days, I just don't care. At all. Oh well. Maybe you can figure out how to fix it and tell me your secrets.
I have no advice for you. My kid is weird and his potty training methods are weird. He can't go to the bathroom by himself, partially because he has to stand on my feet while he pees cause he is not tall enough to make it over the toilet. Yes he is a shrimp. But I agree with you. I LIKED diapers. Luckily (knock on wood), once he decided to be potty trained we haven't had any accidents, but he does hold his pee for like 6 hours without any indication that he wants or needs to use the facilities. So all I say is GOOD LUCK...somehow things will work out.
Is there a more horrible part of motherhood than potty training? I hate it! Going to kindergarten will probably help him learn to stay on task. Or maybe not. Maybe you will be washing his hands when he's 14. Good luck with that.
I understand your desire to have him be independent and able to take care of his personal stuff. But it seems to me that helping the process along a little isn't all that bad.
When he's here and uses the potty, he calls me and I help him wash his hands. Maybe I'm undermining your efforts at home, but it really isn't a big deal. However, is your frustration over his stubborness on this worth it? It only takes a few seconds to go into the bathroom and help him.
On the getting dressed issue, again I don't see anything wrong with helping him out in that department occasionally, especially when you have some place that you need to be - like church, a doctor's appointment - and can't wait around for him to dress himself. I was still helping you kids get dressed when you were in pre-school and even into elementary school at times.
If you help him in the bathroom and in getting dressed, do it matter of fact way and make it a non issue.
Remove his plate from the table if he doesn't finish in a reasonable time. If he hasn't finished, too bad.
With his stubborness he's running the show and knows he can get away with it. It may also be that he still needs some mothering in these areas. Yes, he is 4 1/2, but remember he is just 4 1/2.
As far as the unfinished school projects, right now that isn't a big deal. When he gets in kindergarten and beyond, he'll start paying the price for not staying on task and completing work on time.
There is an upside to this. When he's a teenager, he won't be easily influenced by others. Hopefully....
I came mostly for the photos (I'm Melissa's crabby older sister, btw). What a great blog! Thanks for the moment of beauty. :)
It took more than a year for my little girl to go into the bathroom by herself (and without telling me) and do EVERYthing that needs to be done. See, that's what I think of when I hear someone is "potty trained." Those so-called three day methods are baloney (bologna?). And a year is a long time when you're talking about asking a 2 year-old if they need to go 20 times every day.
Annie, I tried 3 different times to pottie train Bentley. Their bladder isn't ready until they are almost 3yrs, on average.
He was 3 yrs, 3 months old when he finally got it. But he got it in 2 days. The previous times he didn't care that he was sitting in wet pants and underwear.
My only problem with Bentley and the bathroom is that he plays in there if you don't watch him. We have found all sorts of stuff all over the walls some days.
Good Luck!
Okey dokey. I will stop talking about potty training Raigan on facebook because now I have guilt for being so braggy. Potty training does suck. Raigan was my easiest BY FAR! I was chill about it and so was she and we just did it. She still doesn't like to push poop out, but she's getting there. Preschool has done wonders for Marcus as far as independence goes. I used to have to go with him to the bathroom and now he just does it. Isn't being a mom just so garsh darn awesome!?!
I'm afraid I have no advice on the matter so I'll just say that you're very pretty.
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