Let's talk about where you went wrong.

Last night's dream:

The hubs and I decided that we were going to renew our vows.  (Real life hubs asked: "In the temple?"  Real life me: "No.  Some church.")  I was trying to get ready but nothing was going right.

Among running behind schedule and not having the right make up or hair accessories, there was a girl from the Dr. Phil show in my room, a delinquent of sorts.  She was ranting and raving and I'd had enough so I tackle her to the floor and scream at her:

"You are SELFISH!  And ANNOYING!  And SELF-CENTERED!  NO BODY CARES!  SHUT UP!  This is MY DAY!  GET OUT OF HERE!"

I may, or may not, have issues.

Needless to say she left.  I count to 10, go back to trying to figure out what to do with myself when there's a knock at the door and mother, sister and younger brother are there.  My mother says:

"We've figured out what's wrong with you."  She holds up a metal circle the size of a small bracelet with a round bead in the middle.  "Poor circulation.  Hook this onto your eyebrows and you'll start feeling better."

Before I can vocalize my exasperated doubtfulness, Dr. Phil storms in with a disk in his hand and says:

"Okay, let's talk about where you went wrong."  To which I reply,

"Oh, I know where I went wrong.  I knocked her to the ground and yelled in her face and I DON'T CARE!  Everyone GET OUT!"

I'm only left in peace for maybe two seconds when a group of girls come in and tell me "It's Time".  They usher me through a church and, spying my reflection in a mirror wearing a frumpy maid outfit complete with lacy hair piece, I begin to protest

"This isn't right!  This isn't right!"

We make it to a dressing room and I discover that I am wearing a wedding dress under the maid get up, which I quickly doff, and though I had forgotten my wedding jewelry at home, there was a box with a few pieces I could pick from.

From my dressing room, I can see where the hubs and his groomsmen are waiting to enter the church and I hear one of them say,

"So, are we dancing down the aisle?"  I respond loudly,

"NO WAY!"

They dutifully march down the aisle and the last thing I see before my dream ends is my husband looking at me as if he was saying "Are you sure about this?"

***

I know I've said it before, but I do love my dreams.  I mean, the night before last, I dreamt that the entire nation unanimously voted me president even though I hadn't campaigned.  Pretty sweet.