Reality

It takes some time, but one of the most important things you learn when you're a new mother is that you don't know jack.

For 9 months, before you're chick has hatched, you think you've probably got a good handle on what it takes and you have a long list of things you'll never do, like let the TV babysit your kid or put him to sleep on his stomach or let him gnaw on a french fry until he's 16 and you've taught him how to make only good food choices and by then  he won't even want a fry because his palette is so refined and sophisticated that if he's going to eat a french fry he might as well eat garbage.

Of course there is a list of things you will do as well, like puree your own baby food and tummy time and teach him how to read before he's 1 or only let him have a binky at night and take him to museums and art galleries even though he can just barely make out the shape of your face.

And you can always see the new mothers coming from a mile away because they have all the gear and are a fountain of wisdom.  They'll give you advice on anything and swear that it will work.  I don't know what it is, but you have a baby for a nano-second and all the sudden you're an expert.  And I can say all this without judgement because I've been there.  I have been that new mom who thought I knew everything and knew exactly how I was going to raise my kids.

I don't really know when it happens, but one morning you wake up all bleary-eyed before the sun has even spilled one ray over the horizon because there's a child who's wide awake either calling for you from a crib or peeking over the edge of your bed all creepy like and you realize that you have no idea what you're doing.

You realize that PBSKids is the best free baby-sitter you've got, that you'll give your kid almost anything to eat if they will JUST EAT IT, that making your own baby food is way too much work and that a binky is a life saver.

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I'm pretty sure I meant to write something else today, but I guess I'm feeling battle weary today.