A Book Review

We've been checking out kids' books at the library like mad lately, 5-10 books at a time.  It has been interesting.  We checked out the first Curious George book, in which we see the Man in the Yellow Hat smoking a pipe and then George smoking a pipe after a long day.  Then there was the Halloween book Jerry Seinfield wrote which was promptly returned because it was SO annoying to read since it was written just like an episode of "Seinfield", which may be funny to watch, but not so funny to read, and was teaching my child to say "Shut UP!" even though we only read that part to him once.  All we need is one more arrow in Aidan's back talking quiver.  

This last trip to the library resulted in "A Drive in the Country".  If you actually click on that link, don't be swayed by the two 5 star reviews it got.  I'm certain they got paid for such glowing remarks.  The book actually deserves maybe one star and that star goes to the illustrations which are actually quite nice.  The story, the writing, however, is awful.  And, of course, it's Aidan's favorite at the moment so we have read it over and over and over again.  It is SO going back to the library as soon as humanly possible.  Let me treat you to a sampling (I have kept the format the same):

"But better than anywhere we end up

are all the roads that take us wherever and back:

twisting skinny roads with dips and bumps 

that make my stomach flip, with smells of hay

and poop from pigs and that steamy scent 

of sprinkled rain on sun-baked roads - and skunks!"

Or how about this one?

"We pass a bunch of barns.  Old ones are best,

barns that just collapsed, or barns painted 

HOPEWELL DAIRY FARM with roofs like a giant 

fish's scales, or barns with flocks of lambs

or black-faced sheep and mammoth spirals of hay

that look like alien cocoons that dropped to earth."

I have such a hard time reading it because the sentence structure is so bad.  I'm constantly going back because I think I've missed something!  Maybe it's not that bad, but I still hate reading it.  A lot.  I'm tempted to hide it until I can get it back to the library.  I don't think I'm alone, though, the book looks practically brand new, not quite like a library book that has been loved and adored and abused by little hands.  I imagine a lot of parents have secretly snuck it back to the library.